The End is Where We Begin
by xXChiasaHimuraXx
Summary: Their lives were turned upside-down with the simple statement. "Earthland isn't real. It was all a game - an experiment. That world simply doesn't exist." Nothing will ever be the same again... Slightly AU.
1. Prolgue

**A/N: **Minna! Look! I'm back with another multi-chapter story! This prologue was originally a one-shot that had potential to become chaptered (called Field of Lights), but then I decided to use it for the prologue of a different story that I was already planning to write! ...And before anyone asks, NO, this is NOT zombie story (it'll make more sense when you get to the end...).

Anywho, enjoy this new story (that will be updated very sporadically until Christmas break... actually probably only once before then... blame college life, people; blame college life...)!

Disclaimer: Ya right...

* * *

_"We'll hold up a light,_  
_And burn a hole in the night!"_  
_~The Afters: Moments Like This_

They were known the world over as the Generation of Hope. Yes, they were primarily known for the destruction they wrecked in the completion of jobs, but no one knew about everything they had done behind the scenes to keep the world safe – not until it was too late, anyway. After their unceremonious demises, word got around, and it didn't take long for them to be known by that name.

Not as the destructive mages of Fairy Tail guild.

Not by their respective team names.

But as the Generation of Hope.

The Generation of Light.

After hearing the stories of heroism, no one ever would have thought that such mages would have met their ends in such ways. For, in the end, only one of them was lost to battle.

Happy was struck down by a demon. His fall was the catalyst for everyone else.

Natsu was so enraged at his partner's death that he used up what little remained of his magic for one grand attack on the demon. It worked, but the Fire Dragon Slayer failed to notice how close to the sea-side cliff he was standing at the time and plummeted head-long into the ocean. Unconscious even before he hit the water, he drowned.

When his body finally washed up on shore, a member of another guild was courteous enough to return the body. On his way to Magnolia, he also found Happy's broken body. Recognizing the insignia, he brought the Exceed back as well.

Several days after the funeral, Erza went to check up on Lucy as no one in the guild had seen her since only to find the blonde mage curled up in the bed in her apartment, dead. No one could find a legitimate cause of death; in the end, they said she simply died of a broken heart.

Erza became a workaholic after Lucy's death. No one had ever seen the S-Class mage work as hard as she had then. After returning from one particularly difficult job in which some members of a rouge band of mages escaped, she was found dead in her room at Fairy Hills, having been stabbed through the heart. The culprits had left a note: "This is what you get for disbanding us!" They said she would have died instantly, wouldn't have felt any pain, but this fact did little to ease the pain in the hearts of the guild members.

With the fall of the last member of his team, Gray turned to alcohol. When Mira refused to serve him in the guild hall, stating that he'd had far too much already and that it wouldn't help anyway, he stormed out to the nearest bar in Magnolia. When every bar in town had kicked him out, he returned home and dug into the stash he kept in his apartment. When a few days passed in which he didn't come into the guild, Juvia volunteered to check in on him, knowing what had happened with Lucy. She would have never dreamed that she would find the Ice Mage slumped over his kitchen table, dead, bottles and cans covering the table and scattered at this feet. The official cause of death was alcohol poisoning.

In her despair, Juvia committed suicide after his funeral.

Team Shadow Gear was taken out in one fell swoop. Heading out on a job, their train ran off the tracks, colliding with another train. There were no survivors.

Gajeel was the next to go. Like Erza, he had committed himself fully to working. He would complete one job, return to the guild, and turn right back around and leave with another job. He – quite literally – worked himself to death. After returning one day, Mira convinced him to at least take a nap before heading out again. He never woke up.

Mirajane could no longer keep up appearances – some would dare to say later that she went completely mentally insane. She contracted a strange illness the likes of which no one knew how to cure any where in the whole of Earthland. She passed away after a matter of days.

Luckily – or maybe unluckily – Lisanna hadn't been home when it happened. She had left on a job the previous day – a job she never even had the opportunity to start. When the client sent word, asking where she was, the guild all but panicked. Two long days later, she finally stumbled into the guild, collapsing to the floor as soon as she had passed the threshold. No one knew how the young mage managed to acquire the injures that killed her.

Elfman was diagnosed with cancer. He died a month after his sisters (six after the initial diagnosis).

Laxus was hunted by enemies he had made as an independent mage. They caught up with him and his team after they had finished a job; the bandits were kind enough, however, to at least send the bodies back in a wagon.

Kana was both the first and last. She was the first of the generation to join – after Laxus of course – so, she supposed, it was fitting that she would also be the last left living. With as much as she usually drank, it wasn't surprising that she left the guild drunk that cold January night. But, this time, there was no Lucy to drag her in out of the cold. She was found in an alley way by her father the following morning.

Within a year, they were gone.

The Generation of Hope had come to an end – far sooner than anyone could have ever guessed.

In the field of lights lay the last of the great heroes and heroines. In the field of lights their souls were laid to rest. And in that field, the lights that mark their resting places will continue to burn bright even though their souls shine no longer.

Yet their stories will continue to burn a hole in the night for generations to come.

For this was not to be the end of their stories, but only yet another beginning…


	2. Chapter 1 Death and Life

**A/N: **Konichiwa, mina-san! As promised, I have an update for you all this Thanksgiving break! I just got home this afternoon and am so freaking happy to be on break! I also feel like a boss (or, rather, a major geek) because I _finally _got this necklace in the mail... more specifically, _Gray's _necklace... so, yeah... (:

Originally, I was going to try to have multiple chapters to give you this weekend, but in the end they were all pretty short. Therefore, you get this massive chapter that is all of the short ones together. ...Thus you also get a pounding of information and explanations...

Anywho, the song lyrics divide the sections of the chapter. When you come upon lyrics, you are entering into a new character. And, no, I'm not going to go through every character like this before I get to the actual story.

Disclaimer: I no own. If I did, I would be making enough money that I wouldn't have to go to college. I also don't own the song; that would be Trading Yesterday (song: Shattered). I also stole some ideas from the novel _Heir Apparent_ by Vivian Vande Velde if anyone has read that - just the term 'total immersion' and the idea of game pacing.

Also, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed or favorited or followed this last chapter! I get so excited (it's probably not normal...) whenever I see a new alert of any of them. (:

* * *

_Chapter One  
__Death and Life_

"_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
__Fall into your sunlight.  
__The future's open wide, beyond believing  
__To know why, hope dies."_

"Take that! AND THAT! … WAAAH!" Natsu's back slammed into the trunk of a tree, the bark digging painfully into his back. Dazed from the impact, he could only watch as the demon in front of him advanced to finish him off.

"NATSUUUUU!" Happy shouted flying into the face of the demon. "Hurry and stand up already!"

With a powerful paw, the evil creature grabbed onto the Exceed, squeezing him tightly until a sickening crack resounded through the air, Happy's tail and head falling limply. The demon dropped the blue cat and continued its advance on the Fire Mage.

But now Natsu was angry. "How dare you," he growled, "do that to my partner?"

The beast gave a deafening roar in response as it continued closer.

Natsu nimbly dodged its paw as it swung down at him, popping up immediately and running behind it, taking up a stance he had never before had cause to use. "Secret Dragon Slaying Art," he growled, channeling what little magic he had left, hoping it would be enough. "Saishū-tekina hakai!" (Final Destruction)

In a roaring blaze the likes of which no one had seen since the time of the dragons, the demon was utterly consumed – not a speck was left as testament to its existence.

Swaying from the sudden exertion, Natsu mumbled, "We did it, Happy… We…won…" Eyes rolling back in his head, Natsu collapsed – right over the cliff edge he had been unknowingly poised upon. No one was around to see him hit the ocean waves below…

* * *

He slowly blinked open his eyes as someone pulled something – a helmet? – off of his head. The lights in the room were dimmed down, almost comforting, as he slowly sat up. Taking in the room around him, he had to wonder just where in the world he was. The room resembled the infirmary back at the guild, but it was different somehow at the same time – there was only one other bed for starters, most of which was hidden behind a curtain. He glanced at the two people standing over him. Who the heck were they? With a frown, he tried to piece everything together. He had been fighting that demon, then… nothing… So, had someone from another guild found him? Yeah, that had to be it. He was in the infirmary of another guild… He had to be. That was the only logical explanation.

"Where am I?" he muttered.

"Toyokokeiai Hospital."

"Where the heck is that?"

The doctor – for that was obviously who the man was – raised an eyebrow. "Kawasaki, Japan. Bayside of Tokyo."

"Japan?" Natsu's brow furrowed in thought. "Where's that? I thought I knew every country in Earthland…" He shook his head. "I don't know where that is…"

The doctor stared at him long and hard. "Natsu… Don't you remember?" He sighed. "None of that was real."

Natsu looked up at him sharply, disbelieving, confusion written all over his face. "What are you talking about? None of _what_ was real?"

"None of Earthland, Natsu. It was all just a game – or, rather, an experiment to see just how much influence can be placed on a human's memories and mind in general. I guess we have our answer."

"I don't believe you. Tell me the truth: where. am. I?"

The doctor sighed. "That _is _the truth, Natsu. Both you and your brother have been under for about six weeks now. None of what has happened to you in that time was real."

"Brother? I don't have a freaking brother!" He was starting to get angry. Just who did this guy think he was?!

"Yes," the doctor insisted, "in fact you do. Though you may better remember him as your partner, Happy."

Natsu's eyes grew wide. "What the heck are you messin' with me for? Just tell me the truth!"

"He should be waking up anytime now as well." He stood from his chair and pulled back the curtain to reveal the other person in the room, a boy younger than Natsu by a few years, with blond hair.

His breath caught in his throat. What the heck was going on?!

From where he sat, he watched as the other boy slowly woke up. Just as what had happened to him, the doctor removed the helmet covering his head and face; the boy sat up. Natsu watched all of this in a daze; he refused to believe this was real – until the first words came out of the boy's mouth.

"WAAAH! I HAVE HANDS?! HOW THE HECK…?"

Natsu watched as the palm of the doctor's hand met his face. "I knew that was a bad idea," he murmured, "but would they listen to me? Nooo. Of course not…" He sighed, staring back at the boy before him. "Haruka…"

Before he could continue, however, the boy noticed Natsu. "NATSU! Thank goodness you're here! I feel little better now, knowing you're here… Uhm… Where _is _here, exactly?"

Natsu couldn't answer. He didn't know how to answer. Not when he didn't understand any of this himself. He listened, remaining completely silent, as Happy – no, _Haruka, _as the doctor had called him – freaked out the same way he had only moments ago. This wasn't happening… It couldn't be… He refused to believe that had all been fake. Even if he could see this with his own two eyes, he had seen all of that with his own two eyes, too. This wasn't real.

It couldn't be.

* * *

_One Week Later_

He was still here, stuck in this awful world without magic. He couldn't figure it out – anything had yet to make any sense. He had been told he'd been picked up off the streets, but he didn't remember that. He'd been told he and his brother had agreed to the experiment on the premise of a better life after, but he didn't remember that. He'd been told his parents had been killed right in front of his eyes only a matter of months before, but he didn't remember that, either. All he could remember was his life in Earthland, his life's goal being to find Igneel.

But apparently that didn't matter anymore.

And Natsu didn't know what to do with himself.

They had told him life would return to normal now – well, sort of normal, anyway. He and his brother (the word was still so strange for him to use) would be placed in foster care so they wouldn't have to live on the streets anymore. And they were expected to go to school. Natsu really didn't know how to deal with that fact. As far as he knew, he didn't know enough to survive in the classes he had been told he would be taking.

Apparently he used to do very well in math… He _really _couldn't fathom that.

But here he was, staring down at his school uniform with a blank look, knowing he had to put the darn thing on the next day and pretend he knew what he was doing.

"Nii-chan," a voice called from the other side of his bedroom door, "Are you coming down for dinner?"

It took all of ten seconds for Natsu to figure out that he was the person being addressed and that the addressee was his brother (such a strange word!). He sighed. "Yeah, I'm coming…"

Somehow Happy – _Haruka, _he had to keep reminding himself – had adjusted far quicker than he had. He said he _did _vaguely recall some things – and, according to the doctor, had recalled them accurately without even a hint. Natsu just couldn't understand – couldn't understand what had happened, couldn't understand why, if this was all true, he couldn't remember anything besides Earthland.

They said it was psychological – he didn't want to remember because his life before hadn't exactly been all peaches and cream.

Either way, the game had affected him greatly – and he wasn't the only one. Others who had been pulled out before him had had the same trouble, although, they assured him, the true memories had come back with time.

But as he sat down at the table with his foster parents and his brother, Natsu wasn't sure he wanted to remember.

Even if it really had been all a game, he wanted nothing more than to return to that world.

* * *

"_Losing what was found, a world so hollow,  
__Suspended in a compromise.  
__The silence of the sound, is soon to follow,  
__Somehow, sundown."_

"Wasn't Natsu supposed to be back yesterday?" Lucy mused. "My rent's coming due soon…"

"Then why don't you take a job?" Gray asked, taking a swig of his drink. "You'd probably do better on your own without the Flame-Brain around… At least you'd get all of the reward that way."

"Yeah… I guess so…"

"But we all know why she wants to go with him," Levy grinned. "Because you liiiiiike him!"

Lucy blushed. "I-I do not!"

"Yeah, sure, Lu-chan. I believe you," Levy giggled, winking at her best friend.

Their banter came to a quick end, however, when the doors opened. Lucy looked up with a smile, expecting the guild's resident Fire Dragon Slayer, to which she wasn't disappointed. However, his mode of entry was less than desirable, the entire guild falling silent at the sight.

A mage no one recognized made his way into the hall, steps falling heavily, loudly, in the sudden silence, carrying Natsu over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes, Happy tucked under his other arm. Wendy rushed forward immediately, but the man simply shook his head. "It's too late, little lady. He'd already been dead for hours when I found him, washed up on the shore not far from Hargeon. This little guy, too… I don't know what happened. Found 'im in the forest on the way here, spine snapped. Gomen'nasai." His quiet, somber words echoed all-too loudly in the silent hall, the silence after them more deafening than the loudest scream.

"Oi…" Gray stepped forward, breaking into the silence, his drink sitting forgotten on the table. "What…what is this, Natsu? Stop playin' around!" His voice on the edge of hysterical, he continued, the volume growing with every word. "What do you think you're doing, huh? Wake up, you stupid Ash-Brain! You hear me? Stop playin' around!"

Kana placed a hand on his shoulder. "Gray… Stop…"

He shrugged her off but remained silent.

Lucy finally stood from her place, moving forward with slow, hesitant steps. He couldn't be… It just wasn't possible… As she placed her hand on his cold, lifeless arm, not even she could deny the cold, hard truth. Falling to her knees, sobs wracking her body, no one moved to comfort her. No one moved at all. After all, nothing could be done; there was no comfort to be found.

Fairy Tail's Salamander, Natsu Dragneel, was dead.

* * *

Lucy curled up tighter under her blankets. Why did this have to happen? He was the reason she was even able to become a member of the guild in the first place, and now he was gone… It wasn't fair. Tears began to stream from her already puffy eyes once again, just when she'd thought it wasn't possible to shed anymore for her friend.

She didn't want to be here anymore. Plain and simple. She didn't want to be in a world without Natsu. As cheesy as it sounded even in her own mind, her own fire had gone out without him to fuel the flames.

She wished she'd never met him. If she hadn't met him, she wouldn't be in Fairy Tail, it was true, but her heart wouldn't be lying in pieces on the floor either. Maybe it would have been better to follow the arranged marriage her father had planned for her… Maybe it would have been better…

She shook her head. She knew it wouldn't have been – knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that meeting Natsu had been the best thing that had ever happened to her.

But it certainly didn't make this any easier…

* * *

"Juvia hasn't seen Lucy-san since the funeral," Juvia spoke quietly. "Juvia wonders where she is…"

"Probably at home," Gray muttered, voice husky. "I have no doubt she's taking this even harder than the rest of us…"

"She loved him," Levy whimpered. "It's not fair…"

Erza set her glass down a little harder than necessary, the contents slightly sloshing over the side. "I'm going to go check on her. She shouldn't be alone like this…" No one spoke a word as the S-Class mage rose from the table and left the guild hall. They all knew she was going crazy sitting around the guild yet couldn't find it in her to leave on job so soon. Going to check on Lucy was the least they could do, to allow her to get out, away from the stifling atmosphere of the guild.

She walked slowly, allowing herself to think about what had happened for the first time since his body had been returned to them four days prior. How? How had this happened? How was he gone? So young… It wasn't right…

She made her way through the quite streets on autopilot. It was almost as if the entire town was mourning for his passing… It was so silent for the middle of the day… Before she knew it, she was standing outside Lucy's apartment. She knocked in respect for her friend's sorrow instead of simply barging in like they all would have in the past, but no one came. She knocked a little louder. Still no one came. After the third try, an uneasy feeling settled in her gut. She decided it was time to barge in.

There on the bed lay her friend, curled up under a mound of blankets, tear tracks still fresh on her pale face. As Erza reached out her hand to wipe them away, compassion shining in her eyes, she instantly froze as her hand came into contact with her friend's cheek, her expression changing to one of horror.

_No way…_

* * *

This was impossible. She couldn't believe what was right in front of her eyes. Not even when they embraced her, could she believe that they were alive. "Mama," she muttered. "Papa… How…?" But even as she asked, the answer flooded her mind. Oh. Yeah. That gaming experiment she had begged for months to be a part of… None of that had been real – none of it except maybe her emotions. As her parents pulled back, she murmured. "All of that was a game… wasn't it?"

Smiling down at her daughter, Layla Heart answered. "Yes. It was all just a game." Grasping Lucy's hand, her face fell to a more serious expression. "I hope you understand now why we didn't want you to participate… Online games are fine; total immersion games have their place, as well. But something like this? It's just down-right dangerous! We could have lost you; not your life maybe, but _you _yourself – who you are! We never want to lose you, Lucy… We love you so, so much!"

"I love you, too, Mama, Papa," Lucy murmured. But her small smile fell when she realized what she had left behind in that world. In a small voice, she asked, "What about the other people? The friends I made there? Were they real people?... Was Natsu real?" Her last question was almost inaudible, but she simply had to know.

"Most of them were real," the doctor answered with a smile. "Including one Natsu Daishi."

Lucy frowned for a moment before realization dawned on her face. "_That_ was Natsu Dragneel?!" She couldn't believe it. The two of them had gone to school together for years until one day he just seemed to drop off the face of the planet. They had never associated with each other then; they came from two different social classes, and, while she had been popular, he had been an outcast and a bully. When they had hit high school, she had always seen him hanging out with the 'druggies' and when he dropped out everyone thought it was probably because he got busted by the police. "But… but that's…"

"You forget, Miss Heart, that this experiment dealt with altering people's minds – personalities included in some cases."

She couldn't believe it. Had she really given her heart to someone like _him?_ It was unfathomable! It was _unacceptable!_ … And yet, she found herself hoping she would still see him again… Swallowing the lump in her throat, she couldn't help but ask. "So what happens now?"

"You resume your life as normal," the doctor answered. "Simple as that."

* * *

_One Week Later_

As she stared at the uniform hanging on the back of her door, she couldn't help but think it all felt surreal. She had loved her time in Earthland, but she couldn't deny that she was happy to be back in Japan, in her normal life. Tomorrow she would go back to school, just like nothing had happened. She would go back to her normal friends, her normal activities, her normal schedule.

Just like nothing had happened.

The thought almost made her sad. She had loved her friends in Earthland, yes, but the people they were in real life were not the same as their characters in the game. And she would have to move on from that.

They would be different. She hadn't changed. And that was just the way it was.

* * *

"_And finding answers  
__Is forgetting all of the questions we called home.  
__Passing the graves of the unknown."_

They were invincible – or so she had thought. It wasn't that she had thought they _couldn't _lose; it was just that she had thought that they _wouldn't _lose. Previously when their backs were up against a wall, their strength failing, their opponent so much more powerful, they had simply found a way. But now? With Natsu and Lucy gone, Erza couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before the rest of them started to fail, started to lose their lives. She sincerely hoped this wouldn't become a reoccurring thing, but she now also had her doubts about anyone else ever coming out of battles unscathed and still alive. They had grown up together, most of them; now with two of them suddenly gone… It didn't feel right, like a hole had been ripped in the guild that no one could ever repair – and no one even wanted to try.

Just like the snap of someone's fingers, everything had changed.

As she lied awake in bed, she wondered not for the first time how much longer she would be able to keep doing this – although, this time, it was for entirely different reasons than previously. She didn't want to consider the possibility of more of her comrades dying, but she couldn't stop thinking about it either, ever since Lucy's funeral over a month before. How much longer could she continue fight? How much longer until her time would be up?

What would happen to her then? Was there an afterlife? …She didn't know. And yet she continued to fight, throwing herself into every job now. She hadn't been able to protect her nakama; she had to get stronger now to protect them… Or at least that's what she told herself…

Even though the rain softly pattering to the ground outside for the fourth day straight was inevitably Juvia's doing, she was grateful for the quiet comfort it brought as the sound lulled her into a peaceful sleep…

* * *

It all made sense now – sort of. No one had really died; they had simply been pulled out of this sick and twisted experiment. She couldn't help but wonder why it was she had even wanted to be part of such a thing… And yet, it had been fun, a part of her wanting to return there since that life was still a vivid memory.

But she couldn't deny that she was glad to be back home with her mother.

"Was that really only six weeks?"

"Yes, Miss Sasaki. Our advanced technology allows for a person to experience the events in a different frame of time – in this case, it was at a highly accelerated rate of about 70 game days per one day of gaming."

"So even the seven year blank…"

"Was included. Had that course of events not taken place, your group would have aged _in the game _as well, like everyone else had by the time you returned. As is, unfortunately, that group was simply out of commission for a good deal of the experiment. Even so… Some of the possible effects were still relevant. This study certainly proved interesting."

"So I only really got to play for less than even a week?"

"That's right. It's unfortunate, but that's just how it played out."

"You didn't know that was going to happen?"

"We placed you in certain situations, but from there, it was pretty much 'anything goes,' and we had very little control over what happened. Obviously, we had every feasible possibility planned out so that no one would die before the set time was up because that would have messed up the results, but that was about the only intervention we had."

"Interesting…"

"Indeed. The data we have all collected thus far has yielded quite the set of results. You are lucky though; you entered early enough that you have almost a week to readjust yourself before school starts back up."

* * *

_Six Days Later_

It was strange – but a good strange – to think about everything that had happened recently. In six weeks' time, she had lived an entire year – eight years, if she included the seven-year blank. It had been fun, and she had to admit she was going to miss being able to change her clothes just by thinking about it, but she wasn't disappointed to be back in Japan either. In all honesty, she couldn't wait to tell her friends all about it tomorrow!

But it was going to be strange, and she wondered if everything would come back once she saw everyone again. After all, since her memories had been so messed with, she could recall names and the faces that went with those names but couldn't actually remember the people themselves. She couldn't even imagine what they were like since she honestly couldn't remember what her own personality was like before the game.

Which also made her extremely nervous. What if she had been a completely different person before? What if she was going to return to her 'normal' life only to discover her 'normal' life wasn't what she was thinking it would be? If it was completely different, she wasn't sure she would even know how to handle herself around other people. How does one, she wondered, communicate with people she's supposed to know but doesn't?

This situation was certainly one for thought… Yet she wondered if she was also over-thinking it. What if nothing was different at all?

In all honesty, she was hoping that nothing had changed about her. That possibility was so much more inviting; she wouldn't have to try to discover who it was that she was supposed to be; she could just be the same person she had been for the past seven weeks. But she had to wonder if it would really be that simple.

Because if this world was anything like Earthland, nothing was simple.

* * *

"_As reason clouds my eyes, the splendor fading,  
__Illusions of the sunlight,  
__And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting."_

Two months. That's all time it had taken for him to be left on his own once again. Sure, he still had the rest of the guild members, but without his team he didn't feel right. Two months, and he had lost three more people near and dear to him.

He was always losing people.

Anyone who ever bothered to get close to him, he would eventually lose.

He had to wonder sometimes if it wouldn't be better to just –.

"Here."

His morbid thoughts were cut short as the blond bar maid placed a glass in front of him. Good. Just what he needed. He wasn't drunk yet, and he knew it would take a lot to do so tonight, but he needed something – _anything – _so he could just _stop thinking _for a while. As he lifted the glass towards his mouth, he stopped half way, the frown that already marred his countenance deepening. "Oi. Mira. What is this?"

"…Water," she answered hesitantly, although it was clear she was unashamed.

"Didn't I ask for whiskey?"

"Hai."

"Then where is it?" He was starting to get impatient and irritated.

"Don't you think you've had enough, Gray?" She continued to speak in a quiet voice filled with compassion for her comrade, but her underlying meaning was clear: She didn't intend to give him anything more that had any amount of alcohol in it.

And he didn't like it one bit. He slammed the glass of water back onto the counter far harder than necessary if the fact that it shattered on impact was anything to go by. "Guess I'll have to go elsewhere, then won't I?" His voice, too, was quiet, but unlike Mira's it was seething with anger and self-hatred. Without another word, he made his way towards the door through the now-quiet guild hall.

"It won't help, you know," she spoke into the silence. "Drinking yourself silly won't bring them back…"

He stopped just short of the doors. "Don't you think I know that?" he shouted back. "Don't you think that if there _was _any way to bring them back that I wouldn't give my own life to do it?!" He clenched his fists briefly before letting them fall open limply at his side. "There's nothing I can do, Mira," he all but whispered. "And it's slowly killing me."

He never saw the tears streaming down the bar maid's cheeks as he pushed the doors open and stepped out into the night.

* * *

It was around three in the morning when the not-so-sober Ice Mage finally stumbled through his apartment door, having been kicked out of every bar and tavern in Magnolia. He would very willingly admit that he was no longer sober, but he was still certainly far from drunk – or at least from feeling like he was actually drunk.

No matter how much he drank, he couldn't seem to manage to get drunk enough to do the one thing he really wanted to do: stop thinking. He couldn't stop thinking.

He couldn't stop thinking about his parents.

He couldn't stop thinking about Ur and Ultear.

He couldn't stop thinking about Natsu and Happy.

About Lucy…

About Erza…

Oh Lord, how he wanted to stop thinking about Erza! He had been there when they had found her… He had seen her lying there… He had –.

No. He needed to stop thinking about it. All he wanted was to stop thinking…

And so he did the only thing his mind could think of doing: He kept drinking. And, as far as he was concerned, he didn't need someone to serve it up to him to continue to do so now…

* * *

He couldn't comprehend what had just happened. He could see the room around him; he could see the doctor; he could see his aunt. But that didn't mean that anything made sense. He remembered what had happened perfectly, yet another part of his mind was still insisting that Earthland had been real – and, in all honesty, he wanted to believe that part. He wanted to believe that had been real, and even though he knew it hadn't been, as he sat there staring at his aunt, he was having difficulty differentiating between what was true in which world.

He swallowed harshly. "Are you mad at me?" he whispered.

She sighed, a hand coming up to comb through her short, auburn hair. "I wouldn't say that – more like disappointed. I am sorry, too, though; this might not have happened if I'd at least stopped to listen to you."

"I think I understand now," he murmured. "Everything's messed up…"

"Don't worry," the doctor interjected. "Your memories should sort themselves out fairly quickly I should think."

Gray frowned. His _memories _weren't the only thing that was messed up… "The other people in the game… Were they NPCs?"

"No, most of them were real – with a few exceptions of course… Makarov, Hades… Some of the more prominent characters were Game Masters. The individual members of each guild, however, were all players."

"Was it just random, where we all ended up? Or the people in our pasts?"

"The area where the person was from determined the guild placement; that way people would actually have the chance of knowing their fellow members inside the game as well as out of it. We formed each individual set of memories for the person upon application. That way people who were already involved in your past were still part of your memories – just a part of _different _memories."

"Like Lyon and I? We knew each other during childhood, but he moved away, and we ended up on bad terms…"

"Exactly. We used such events in everyone's pasts to create his or her back-story for the game."

He nodded. "What about the people who turned good?"

"In any online game you're going to get people who want to play villains…"

"Player Killers."

"Exactly. We honored that request. And we had no control over whether they would ever change sides. Every decision was your own; we just also had Game Masters to set you all on the right track sometimes."

"So Jellal and Ultear…"

"Made their own decisions."

"What would have happened if they hadn't changed? Jellal opened Nirvana… Ultear saved all of us… Wouldn't that have affected those respective arcs of game play?"

He shrugged. "Who knows? They both would have worked out somehow, I'm sure, but I have no idea how. Much of the game depended on player's decisions within the game; we had little control from the outside."

"Then…" Gray swallowed harshly. "Then everyone who died…"

"Are all alive and fine. You may well see many of them at school come Monday."

* * *

_Six Days Later_

While he knew that none of that had been real, he still felt as if it had been. Even now, days later, he would still catch himself thinking about things that had happened then as if they were real. He knew it was dangerous to stay stuck in that fake life, but he couldn't seem to get out of it all the same. To him, it had still happened.

And now he would have to get up and go to school tomorrow like nothing had ever happened.

He didn't know if he could pull off 'normal' right now. In fact, he knew he couldn't. He wasn't that person anymore. And those raw emotions he'd felt for his friends only days ago were still fresh in his mind. It didn't matter that they hadn't actually died – it still _felt_ that way to him.

He rolled over in his bed, staring at the unrelenting, merciless red numbers on his alarm clock. Just after midnight. Lovely. He groaned. He really didn't think he could handle this… Scratch that: He _knew _he couldn't.

He wasn't that person anymore…

* * *

"_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding…"_


	3. Chapter 2 School Daze

**A/N: **Konnichiwa mina-san! I'm finally home for the holidays so you should see updates a little more frequently - at least until January 11th when I have to go back. :P I love Christmas! Totally have Relient K's _Let It Snow Baby, Let It Reindeer_ playing right now, just sayin'. ^.^

Thanks to all who hung with me for all the introductory stuff; now we get to more of the actually story! (:

Anywho, _**notes**_ I forgot last time: Last names have been changed to ones that are Japanese in origin except for Lucy - hers isn't much different because her name definitely isn't typical in Japan that I'm aware of and neither is blonde hair, so we are just going to say that she's not native Japanese but the others are (or at least half Japanese or something...). Erza and Natsu are both gingers in order to make their hair colors realistic; you don't have to picture them as real people, _per se, _but I did want to make it more realistic. I also changed their ages - as you will see in this chapter - so that all of them are still in high school.

I had to do a lot of research for this - you'd think I'd know better than to set a story in a country that I don't live in but obviously I didn't learn my lesson after the one _Alex Ride_r story I wrote (and still need to finish it actually...oops). As such, I am trying to keep everything as Japanese as possible. If you see some flaw PLEASE don't hesitate to point it out so I can fix it for future chapters!

Oh, one other **important matter!** This IS NOT a shipping story! The only shipping involved will be Natsu and Lucy since - let's just all face the facts - it's going to happen eventually! Other than that, I ship a lot of people with a lot of people soooo... And the song below that introduces the chapter? It deals more with friendship for Gray and Erza...

Okay, I'm done now; you've all waited long enough for the next update. Go!

Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't. Dear Santa...

* * *

_Chapter Two  
__School Daze_

"_I know you, who are you now?  
Look into my eyes if you can't remember.  
Do you remember, oh?_

_"I can see, I can still find_  
_You're the only voice my heart can recognize_  
_But I can't hear you now, yeah._

_…_

_"And how can I pretend I've never known you?_  
_Like it was all a dream, no._  
_I know I'll never forget_  
_the way I always felt with you beside me_  
_and how you loved me then, yeah._

_"I'll never be the same  
I'm caught inside the memories, the promises  
our yesterdays when I belonged to you.  
I just can't walk away  
'cause after loving you  
I can never be the same."_

_~RED: Never Be the Same_

* * *

Natsu knew it was going to be a bad day right from the start.

Haruka came into his room to wake him up that morning in a most unpleasant way. "Natsu-nii! Get up! It's time for school!"

Natsu flailed for a moment, arms and legs gong every-which-way before he successfully managed to shove his brother off of him and onto the floor. "Okay, okay, I get it! Do you have to jump on me though?!"

Haruka grinned up at him from his place on the floor. "Aye, sir! More fun that way!"

Natsu groaned, falling back onto his pillow. "I don't wanna go…"

"No choice, Oniichan! Get up!" Haruka tugged at his brother's arm.

Very reluctantly, Natsu eventually rolled out of bed to get ready for school. Equally reluctantly, he pulled on his black _gakuran_ with the green second-year pin attached to the collar of his white shirt, went down the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast, and soon after left for school, with his brother skipping along happily in the opposite direction from where he turned his bike. He frowned; how could Haruka be so happy about all of this? Then again, maybe that was just his personality; maybe that's where he acquired his name for the 'game.' He shook his head, not sure he could handle going to school at all. Everything was different now, after all; _he _was different – or so people kept telling him. How could he _not _be? After all of that, after coming back and still not being able to remember who he was before, he wanted to ask them how he could_ possibly _not be different than before.

As soon as he entered the gate, he knew it was going to be one heck-of-a-long day, stares and whispers following his progress across the courtyard to the main doors of the building.

"Is that Daishi-senpai? What's he doing back?"

"I thought he got arrested for drugs…"

"Maybe he got off for good behavior?"

"Are we talking about the same Daishi? No way that could happen…"

The hair on the back of his neck was standing on end by the time he reached the doors; what kind of a person had he been before? Drugs… people thinking he'd been arrested… Well, he _had _been arrested that one time in Earthland, but he hardly thought that counted, and it certainly hadn't been because he'd been caught with illegal substances. He swallowed harshly as he pulled the door open, leaving the chatter of his fellow students behind him. He could only hope he would find someone else who had been in that experiment with him and knew he wasn't like that now.

As he turned into the academic wing, he soon found that he couldn't escape the whispers and stares as other students were already inside with him. Ducking his head, ginger hair falling over his eyes, he continued towards his homeroom – 2-C. Seeing the sign just down the corridor flooded him with relief – not that he thought it would last long as there were probably already students inside as well, or at least there soon would be. But at least once he was inside, he wouldn't have to pay anyone else any mind.

As he turned for the door, head still down, he knocked into someone, long blonde hair being the only thing he saw and seeing it a second too late.

"Oi! Watch where you're going!"

Natsu's head jerked up at the voice. _It couldn't be!_ But as he met her sour expression, there was no denying the fact. "Lucy," he whispered.

Her sour expression quickly changed to one of surprise then to one of anger. "Don't address me so informally, Daishi-san."

With that sentence, the first words he'd heard from her in a week, his heart started to crack. This wasn't the Lucy he had known. "Sumimasen," he muttered, ducking his head again.

Yes, Natsu could already tell, today was not going to be a good day.

* * *

Lucy could tell that her first day back after the summer break was going to be a good one right from the start.

She woke up on time, her hair cooperated perfectly, and her mother had made her favorite breakfast. She didn't live far from school and, considering it was still summer, the walk was rather pleasant, a breeze blowing just enough to keep the heat from settling on her skin. Half a block from the school gate, she caught sight of the very person she had been hoping to find.

"Kei-chan!" she called, waving her hand.

The black-haired girl turned, short skirt and short hair swishing in tandem. "Lu-chan!" she called back, stopping to wait for her friend to catch up. "I haven't seen you all summer! What have you been up to?"

"Ah, gomen, gomen! We went up to the mountains for the summer, and – wouldn't you know it – we were so far up we didn't have even cell service!" Lucy sighed, rolling her eyes. "Papa said that was on purpose, to 'get away from the rest of the world for a while' or something like that."

Kei chuckled as they continued towards the doors. "Yeah, that sounds like your dad, alright. Was it fun at least?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "I'm not really that much of an out-doors person after all…"

"Yeah, I don't think I would have enjoyed it much either."

As the two passed through the back gate, a short girl with brown hair flew at them, enveloping them in a giant hug. "Lu-chan! Kei-chan! Save me!" Letting go of both of them, she promptly turned to hiding behind them.

Kei sighed, her hand meeting her face. "What have you gotten yourself into this time, Rika-chan?"

"Nothing," she squeaked. "It's not my fault!"

Lucy laughed. "What? Another boy that won't leave you alone?"

"…Maybe… But it's okay because he's in the courtyard and we're all the way over here, not in the courtyard…"

"If he's all the way on the other side of the school, why are you hiding behind us then?" Kei asked with a sigh.

"I thought he might follow me, but I guess he didn't."

"I guess it's a good think our homeroom is on this side of the building then, huh?" Lucy chuckled. "Less of a chance to run into him this way."

"Oi, Lu-chan; don't encourage her!"

The blonde only laughed harder. "Gomen'na, Kei-chan; but you have to admit it's kinda funny!"

"Oi, this is no laughing matter!" Rika moaned. "Just wait until you guys have boys crawling all over you then we'll see how you feel!"

Lucy's laughter and retort were interrupted when a boy with ginger hair bumped into her arm. "Oi! Watch where you're going!"

The teen looked up, meeting her irritated expression with one of relief. "Lucy…"

Then it hit her. Without the vibrant hair she was so used to seeing in the game, it took her a moment to realize just who it was who had bumped her. But then she remembered. And she was very displeased. Her friend's faces were asking why she was suddenly so familiar with a drop-out who had somehow returned, and she didn't like it one bit. Everything was supposed to go back to normal now, and that normal didn't include being friends with a druggie drop-out.

"Don't address me so informally, Daishi-san." Her words came out colder than she had intended for them to, and she instantly regretted it as she witnessed his once-hopeful expression fall to one of utter despair.

"Sumimasen," he muttered, head falling so that his hair shadowed his eyes. Without another word, he turned and entered the nearest classroom.

"What the heck was that about?" Kei asked. "What business does someone like _him_ have in even being in your presence in the first place?"

Rika snickered as they turned for their own homeroom. "Maybe he dreams about you, Lu-chan…"

"Oh, don't even go there!" Kei shuddered.

As the trio entered their classroom –2-A – Lucy forced a smile and a laugh for her friends' sakes, but it wasn't real now. She tried to remind herself that this wasn't Earthland, and here they were part of two separate social worlds.

But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't shake her heavy heart.

* * *

Gray was not having a good day. It was as simple as that.

So far he had managed to get lost on his way to school that morning, surprise teachers by actually paying attention in class, greatly anger a girl whom he only after the fact realized was his girlfriend – ex-girlfriend now, and get on the bad side of several upperclassmen. And the day was only half over.

"Yo! Fujiwara!"

Gray kept walking, lost in his own little world, just trying to get through this awful first day without making it any worse. Luck was not on his side.

Someone grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around, breaking him from his trance-like state. "Fujiwara, didn't you hear me?"

"Ah, gomen'nasai, Senpai," Gray muttered. "Nande?"

"Did you forget? I asked you before break to consider joining the basketball club, and I need an answer today."

Gray swallowed, racking his memory for such an instance. He honestly didn't remember agreeing to think about such a thing, but then again, his memories were still a bit jumbled… Was he even good at basketball? Yes, he supposed he was; he had played in junior high… "Gomen'nasai, Senpai; I kind of forgot about it…"

"Well, you still have until the end of the day," he sighed. "Seriously, though. I know you haven't played competitively since junior high, but I still think you should. It's never too late to take it back up…"

"Oi, Nakahara-senpai! Don't try to beat me to the punch! You know you wanna play soccer, Fuji-san!"

He sighed; now he remembered why he hadn't played competitively in two years – everyone wanted him for some reason. Though he knew that wasn't the only reason he'd had before. Six weeks ago, he wouldn't have been allowed to play – not if they ever found out. It was the same reason he had several upperclassmen angry at him… This would not end well, either way. If he turned them both down, they'd just keep hounding him like they'd been doing since he was a first year; if he agreed, he'd be in deep trouble with the blackmail those angry upperclassmen held.

"I'll think about it," he spoke loudly over the other two who were currently bickering over which team he would choose. He didn't wait for them to acknowledge his answer before turning and heading back towards the courtyard. All he really wanted at the moment was some peace and quiet – and maybe a friendly face since it appeared he didn't really have any friends as of approximately 7:43 this morning.

As he burst out into the late summer heat, he glanced around the small area; there wasn't much of a courtyard – just enough space to have somewhere for students to stow their bikes with a little room beside – so not many students came out for lunch even when the weather was much more pleasant than it was today. But he didn't care. He just needed enough space for himself so he could escape for a bit. He plopped down on the grass under one of the few trees, leaning his head back against the trunk, letting his eyes fall closed. Maybe he would skip his afternoon classes and just stay right where he was.

His pleasant relative silence only lasted for a moment, however, before he heard the door open again and several people exit, talking excitedly amongst themselves, oblivious to his presence. If he had it his way, they would remain so; that way he could skip if he really decided he wanted to do so. Before, he knew he wouldn't have even hesitated, but now… He wasn't so sure. He didn't know exactly what had changed, but something certainly had. He wasn't the same person anymore… Which, consequently, meant that he already knew he wouldn't be skipping class today or any other day for that matter.

He glanced up, turning his head in the direction of the voices to see who had invaded his quite space – and froze. _Yes, that was right, _he supposed, _she _did _attend the same school…_ He couldn't help but stare, though, wondering what she would think of him now that they had their proper memories back. He didn't want to think about that. In fact, he didn't want to think about her at all, the cruel, bloody memories still fresh wounds in his mind.

And then she turned her head and met his gaze.

Yes, this was definitely not a good day, he thought to himself; not a good day at all.

* * *

Her day was perfection – until lunch rolled around, anyway.

"Er-chan! We should eat lunch outside!"

"But it's hot outside…"

"But then no one will hear about your summer except for Ryouta-kun and I."

Erza paused; she had a point there. "Fine," she sighed. "You win, Yoko-chan."

"Yay!" The petite girl skipped across the room, dark hair swishing around her shoulders. "Ryouta-kun! I convinced her!"

"Yare, yare…" Erza rolled her eyes. It wasn't like it had taken that much effort on her friend's part; Erza really didn't want the vast majority of people knowing what she had spent her summer doing – it would most definitely ruin her image as student council president.

As the three crashed through the doors leading outside, Erza began her tale, knowing her closest friends were anxious to hear about her 'adventures.' "It wasn't your typical RPG, that's for sure. I started off with a high-powered status and already knew how to use my magic – there really wasn't anything that had to be learned, _per se. _ It's an interesting concept, you know – tampering with someone's memories so fully that, while in the game, he or she doesn't even know it's a game…"

"You're lucky you got to do it though," Ryouta sighed. "I'd have given anything to join you."

Erza shrugged, a small smile appearing on her lips. "Benefits of already being eighteen before the application deadline, I guess."

He groaned, flopping back on the grass. "Two weeks too late! It's not fair!"

Yoko chuckled suddenly, her gaze not focused on her friends but on something else. "Er-chan," she drawled. "That boy over there has been staring at you since we sat down. Do you know him or is he just some creepy, underclassman stalker?"

The smile turning into a puzzled look, she turned to see what her friend was talking about. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise as their gazes locked. She honestly hadn't realized he attended the same school she did – but then again… Now she remembered; she had seen him around before, usually alone despite the fact that just about every sports club wanted him to join. There were a few upperclassmen she'd seen him around, all known for getting into trouble. She held his gaze for a long few seconds before he turned away abruptly, head bowed as if he didn't want to see her – or maybe he didn't want her to see him? "I'll be right back," she muttered as she stood up. She quickly closed the distance between them, stopping only a foot from where he sat, yet he didn't acknowledge her. "Gray?"

He didn't look up. One word was his only acknowledgement that she was even there. "Senpai."

"You're out here alone; is something wrong?"

He snorted. "What _isn't?" _

She frowned, crouching down next him. "What is it?"

He looked up for only a moment, surprise evident in his eyes, before ducking away again. "Why do you care?"

"I'm the student council president. It's kind of in the job description to care about the student body, for one thing. Not to mention I'd be a horrible friend if I didn't…"

He snorted again. "You really wanna know, Senpai? I really messed up my life, ya know? And it took a stupid RPG for me to figure that out. But it's still messed up. I can't fix what's already been done." He stood up, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. "You'd best not associate with me, Erza-senpai. It wouldn't look good for your squeaky-clean image."

She stood up, too, as he started to walk away. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Slowly he drew to a stop a few paces away. "You don't remember?"

"I remember everything outside of the game, but I still don't know what you mean. Why would it be so disastrous for me to be seen with you?"

"If you really do remember everything, you should know. You and I – we belong to completely different worlds in this school. Think about it, Senpai; think about the people I hang out with. You're smart; I'm sure you'll get it."

She frowned. _The people he hung out with?_ Before the summer break… Even last year when he would have been a first year student… He was always with the same few people – all notorious trouble makers, one even kicked out for –. Oh.

"Gray," she breathed. "I know you're not like that – not anymore."

"Really? Do you really know that? The only person you know me to be is the one in the game." He chuckled humorlessly. "You're right; I'm not like that, but no one else is going to see it that way. They only know who I was six weeks ago – the druggie that used to play sports. That's all I'll ever be, Senpai." He started to walk away again.

"Not everyone sees you that way, Gray; if they did, why would the captains of the sports clubs still be trying to recruit you?" He stopped again. "I never knew such a thing until just now. Most people, I think, either don't know who you are or think you're just antisocial. It's not too late to turn around; it's never too late to change the future."

"Don't you get it? It's not that simple. I got on the bad sides of a few upperclassmen this morning – something about drugs that I don't have. If I don't go right back to being the me I was before, they have some pretty powerful blackmail. This isn't Earthland, Senpai; that speech might have worked there, but not here."

Erza was stunned. She had never heard his voice like that before – so defeated and broken. Was he always like this in real life? She didn't know; she hadn't known him before Earthland. As he disappeared back inside the school building, she couldn't help it if her heart broke a little for her friend. Her life had stayed the same, but his? It was like his life wasn't his own anymore.

As the hot summer sun beat down on her back, Erza felt cold.


	4. Chapter 3 Time Continues On

**A/N: **Konnichiwa, mina-san! First of all, I feel I must apologize for not updating as soon as I had hoped to be able to since I'm still currently on break, but between being miserable upon getting my wisdom teeth out and getting hooked quite thoroughly on Shugo Chara and working, I haven't had as much time to write as I had originally planned. *Bows low* Gomen'nasai!

A special thank you to _Tinteii_ for being the only reviewer last time and my sole motivation to continue (as well as anyone who added to faves/alerts? I don't remember if anyone did off the top of my head, but if you did then thank you to you too!). (:

After this chapter, you probably won't be seeing all four of them in every chapter because it's going to start delving deeper into each of their lives and how they are adjusting - or, rather, _not _adjusting as you'll kind of see in this chapter as well. Things are going to start changing even more for some of them. ;)

I also should have planned this better as I found out that Tokyo doesn't get much snow in the winter. *Shrugs* I'll make it work.

...I also fee like there's something I've been to tell you all since the beginning, but now I can't remember again... Dang it. -.-

Disclaimer: Do I really need this again? Yes? Okay. College student in Iowa. No percentage Japanese heritage. Obviously, I don't own Fairy Tail. College student in Iowa. Not a man. Obviously, then, I am not a member of TFK and don't own the song below.

* * *

_Chapter Three  
__Time Continues On…_

_"And every time I pass you on the street  
You won't even turn and look at me  
I never would've thought that things could  
Go this far but please believe me_

_"I'll pick you up, won't let you fall_  
_I'll build your trust and it won't hurt at all,_  
_Your only drug will let you down,_  
_I'm through now, so take me and blow me away"_  
_~TFK: The Art of Breaking_

* * *

_December 8__th_

The gray sky outside the window spoke ominously of wet weather making Gray wish he had some reason to stick around the school after classes ended just so he wouldn't have to walk home through it. He sighed inwardly, turning his attention back to the teacher, trying to focus on the boring history lesson the man was attempting to make sound interesting. He was definitely failing in Gray's opinion. After what seemed like hours, he finally wrapped up the class.

"Well, look at the time! That's all for today, class. Don't forget that your era projects are due a week from today!"

He stood up, shoving what he needed back into his school bag, having already tuned out anything else his teacher had to say. He'd been lucky lately; he hoped he'd still be lucky today in getting out the doors and away from campus while still in a group of other students.

Although he really didn't expect his luck to hold – not today, anyway, he guessed as he noted the snow that had just started to fall in heavy, wet clumps from the sky. He sighed, quickly turning away from the window and heading for the door. If he didn't hurry, he wouldn't stand a chance of getting out of the building unseen.

Too late. By the time he had changed his shoes, just about everyone who was leaving had already left. _Best to just get it over with,_ he thought, moving out into the snow. Outside, his fellow students were happily enjoying the rare occasion of snow and, normally, he would have joined them – 'normally' being three years before or in Earthland, anyway. Right now he just wanted to get as far away from the school as quickly as possible. Turning up the collar of his coat, he hurried through the gate and down the sidewalk.

He made it a whole two blocks.

"Yo, Fujiwara."

He stopped in his tracks, the slick voice one he knew he wouldn't be able to ignore. He closed his eyes, ducking his head, willing himself to be able to disappear. A hand on his shoulder let him know his effort was futile.

"You've been avoiding us, Fujiwara. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was on purpose."

Gray swallowed harshly, biting back a retort that he knew would get him into more trouble than he would be in already. "Of course not, Senpai," he ground out quietly. "Why would I have reason to do that?"

The hand tightened. "You got the goods then?"

He swallowed harshly again. "I already told you: I'm not getting it for you anymore."

The hand tightened further. "You realize how much trouble we could get you in, Fujiwara? _You _were the one who got it for us in the first place." There is was; he had wondered when that threat would come out.

"You won't turn me in," Gray scoffed. "That would mean turning _yourselves _in, too."

"Well, I guess you do have us there." He could hear the smirk in the upperclassman's voice; he knew already what would come next. "I guess we'll just have to give different incentive to cooperate, won't we?"

* * *

"AHAHAHA! Look! It's snowing!"

"Too bad it won't actually stick, Natsu-kun."

"Ah, you're such a spoil-sport, Shiro-kun!" Natsu placed his hands behind his head as the two continued to make their way down the sidewalk. "It doesn't matter if it sticks or not; you just have to enjoy it while it lasts!"

The dark-haired teen tipped his head back, watching the flakes as they slowly made their way downward, a small smile beginning to play at his lips. "Yeah, I guess. I just wish it would stay…"

"Nothing lasts forever."

Shiro's smile fell, his gaze returning to his friend at the sudden change in his voice. Following Natsu's gaze, he suddenly understood why. "I don't understand why you keep pining after her; she's not your type."

He shook his head. "I disagree. I think I saw the _real _her – the side no one else knows. It felt genuine; when I see her now… she just seems so fake."

"Maybe so, but unless she decides to change, you don't have a chance."

"I know. I won't give up though. Even if I have to wait a thousand years for her to show her real self, I won't give up. I fell in love with that girl, and it's not something that's ever going to go away." He grinned. "Until then, I'm just going to keep being me in hopes that she'll notice!"

Shiro chuckled. "Oh, I think she's noticed!"

"Hontouni?!"

"Yeah," he laughed harder at his friend's expression. "I don't think there is a single person in the entire school that hasn't noticed how much you've changed!"

Natsu smiled, his fist pumping the air. "I'll just keep giving it my all then!" _Then, maybe someday, I'll get the chance to make her fall in love with me all over again!_

* * *

He had no idea how he was going to explain this to his aunt – if he could ever find the will to stand back up and walk out of this alleyway, anyway. The snow was still falling softly around him, melting when it hit the ground, chilling him to the bone. He knew he couldn't stay out here forever – more than likely, his aunt was already worried about where he was – but he couldn't find the will to move. The cold was almost a welcome sensation – once upon a time he had felt perfectly at home in the cold and it hadn't bothered him in the slightest. But that was another world entirely. Still… The chill now, at least, let him relive that time – if only in his mind. It gave him somewhere else to be, a different life that he had liked so much more.

It let him escape.

Though from what he was escaping, he wasn't entirely certain.

"Gray?!"

The panicked voice stirred him from his thoughts, his eyes slowly opening just in time to see a flash of red hair and white parka before his vision was obstructed by something else white that was now pressed against his forehead.

"What in the world happened to you?!"

He smiled wryly. "I thought I told you that it would be better if you didn't associate with me, Senpai. Until now, I thought you might have actually taken my advice."

"Screw social standings," she barked. "I want to know what happened, Gray."

He couldn't help but chuckle; Erza definitely hadn't changed over these long few months. "What does it look like?"

"I want to know who."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. It does."

"No, it doesn't. You can't do anything about this, Erza-senpai."

"Cut the crap. I can and I will."

"You didn't see anything."

"Then _you _do something. I won't sit by and watch this happen. _Again."_

"Again? I don't know what you mean…"

"Bull! A month ago you came to school with bruises, too. I won't turn a blind eye on this."

He sighed. "Drop it, Senpai. You didn't see anything, and I can't say a word about it. End of story."

She paused in cleaning the blood from his forehead. "I can't sit by and do nothing, Gray." She sighed when he turned away. "Does this have anything to do with the drugs?"

He didn't answer. What was he supposed to say? Wasn't it obvious, after all? Everything seemed to come full-circle back to one bad choice he made his first year of high school…

She started dabbing at his forehead again.

"Leave it," he muttered, pulling away. At his request, she stopped. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"Student Council let out early; we didn't have much to do today. You should really let me finish with that; it's still bleeding."

"Why do you even care?"

"So it's not just your Earthland personality that's thick-skulled," she muttered before continuing in a louder voice. "When will you learn that I actually care about what happens to you, Gray? Yes, I know this isn't in some stupid game anymore; that doesn't matter to me."

"You never cared before."

"You weren't coming to school covered in bruises before either."

"Maybe I was; you don't know that."

"But you weren't, were you? You weren't because this started after you refused to be a supplier anymore."

He fell silent; he couldn't deny it after all.

She sighed. "Why don't you just turn them in?"

He almost laughed. "Are you stupid, Erza? That would mean turning _me _in, too."

"It's better than getting beat up. Besides, if you turn them in and yourself in the process, they might be more lenient – especially if they know that you haven't done any drugs in months. Think about it. Please." When he didn't reply after a moment, she added quietly, "You'd be free if you did, Gray. You wouldn't have to hide anymore."

He stood up. "I'm going home." Without waiting for a reply of any kind, he turned and limped out of the alley. As he turned the corner, he muttered so quietly he wasn't even sure that she'd heard, "Thank you… for helping me out…"

* * *

Lucy had to admit that she couldn't ignore Natsu anymore. He wasn't the same person – yet he was the same. He was the same as he had been in the game, yet she had also seen a more serious side that he hadn't possessed in Earthland. A combination of the two personalities… Was _this _the _real_ Natsu? If it was then that explained why she still harbored feelings for him.

With a sigh, she turned her attention from the snow still softly falling outside the window back to her homework. After reading the same sentence in her history textbook five times and still not knowing what she had just read, she let her head fall forward onto the glossy pages with a _thunk_. It was no use; she just couldn't concentrate! "Maybe if I go to that new café," she muttered, standing up. "Then, at least, I'll have an excuse for not getting anything done…"

After calling to her mother to tell her where she was going and making sure she had her house key, Lucy stepped out into the chilly evening air, opening her pink and white umbrella to keep the wet snow from soaking into her hair and clothing as she walked. The evening was certainly peaceful, a certain amount of silence penetrating the usually noisy city with the peaceful atmosphere that only the rare sight of snow could bring. But the sight of it almost made her cringe all the same. She had known someone once who had loved the snow and the cold of winter. Lucy sighed; where he was now, she couldn't help but wonder – him and everyone else from that make-believe guild of that make-believe world. She had yet to run into anyone apart from Natsu, after all; even if she didn't really care, she had convinced herself, it was still natural to wonder.

She turned the corner and the little café she had heard about around school came into view. Smiling lightly, she had to admit that even as peaceful as the snow was she much preferred warmer weather and couldn't wait to get back inside.

She soon had coffee in hand and made her way to a table near the window. There wasn't much to see outside besides the falling snow, but it was still more peaceful than staring out into the crowded café. She no sooner went to take her first sip of her hot drink than a hard object collided with her back, nearly causing her to spill. More than a little irritated, she spun around to see what the deal was. But the man who had bumped her beat her to speaking.

"Ah! Gomen, gomen! It's really crowed in here…"

Lucy's eyes widened. "Lo…ke?"

The man stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment before a wide grin broke out across his face. "Lucy! It's been a long time! How's life?"

"Uhm… Good, I guess." She couldn't believe it. She hadn't seen anyone else in months and, now, just as she was thinking about that fact, in walks someone from that world. "You?"

"Can't complain." He shrugged. "Meeting some people here to game upstairs. Don't suppose you'd wanna join us?"

"They have that here?"

He nodded. "You didn't know? They have a ton of online games, and we could use another person in our party. We've been trying to beat this boss for, like, a month."

Now that she got a good look at him, she had to admit he _did _look like the typical gamer. She hesitated; what if someone from school saw her? "I don't know…"

"Ah, c'mon!" He frowned. "Unless _that_ game scared ya off…"

She shook her head. "N-no, it's not that! …It's…just…" Lucy trailed off, trying to find the right way to explain that it would potentially ruin her image. It wasn't an especially good reason not to after all…

"Yo! Loke!"

She looked up, eyes once again growing wide. _No. Freaking. Way._

The red-head stopped in his tracks a few feet away when he saw whom his friend had been speaking with. "Heart-san," he muttered half-heartedly.

Lucy turned her head away. "Gomen'na, Loke. I have homework to finish."

"But it's a Friday…"

"Then I don't have to worry about it all weekend."

"Give it up, Loke," Natsu spoke up. "She's not going to play. 'Gamer' isn't really a title she sees herself with."

"Hmmm. I don't get it, but whatever," Loke conceded after a moment. "If you ever want to join us, just say the word…"

She didn't say a word, didn't even turn to watch them walk away. Lucy would never admit how much she wanted to join them. She would never admit that, more than anything, she wanted to be friends with the both of them again.

She would never admit that a piece of her heart still belonged to him.

* * *

"So what's up with her these days? I haven't seen her since August, after all, and that wasn't even in person." Loke plopped down onto one of the chairs to wait for the rest of their group.

Natsu shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I guess, in the real world, people like her don't associate with people like me."

"Hah?"

He shrugged again. "I… I don't remember anything of this world outside of coming back in August. I've heard all kinds of crazy things – most of them contradict each other; I don't know what's true if any of them are. All I know is I'm just going to keep being the only me I know how to be and hope that's enough."

"You don't want to lose her." It wasn't a question, Natsu noted; Loke already seemed to know.

"Yeah." He smiled. "If I just keep being me, though, maybe I can get her back eventually."

Loke sighed, a frown crossing his features. "Ever stop to think that maybe the Lucy in the game was the fake?"

Natsu's smile fell as well. "All the time. I guess… I just keep hoping that's not the case. After all, in a game where no one knows who you really are, you're freer to be yourself."

The door opened behind them, two more people walking in. "Ya know, cafés really aren't my thing. Do we have to meet here?"

"Yo, Yuka!" Loke greeted. "And I've told you a hundred times, this place has the best graphics!"

"Whatever," he shrugged. "By the way, this is my little brother; he begged to come, so I hope that's okay."

"We needed another person for our party anyway," Natsu grinned.

_Lucy, _he thought, _someday, you'll be sitting here with us again. I know you will be._


End file.
